


we with holes in our hearts

by zornslemon



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-21
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-09-01 09:03:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8618110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zornslemon/pseuds/zornslemon
Summary: Three arrows hit Percy in the chest, and Cassandra keeps running.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the CR reverse bang to go with some [fantastic art](http://acommonrose.tumblr.com/post/153488657297/we-with-holes-in-our-hearts-three-arrows-hit) by deedippe.
> 
> Thanks, as always, to Attila for betaing. Title comes from "Begin" by the Wailin' Jennys.

Here’s the strangest part of the whole mess, the part that Cassandra will try to forget after the massacre because she isn’t sure how to feel about it: Cassandra and Percy don’t actually like each other.

They love each other, of course. They are brother and sister after all. But of the de Rolo siblings, they always seem to be the two with the most disparate temperaments, the two who always seem to have some petty squabble.

“Percy, please, just take an hour out of whatever this is to play hide and seek with me and Ludwig. It’s no fun with two people,” Cassandra whines, standing in the door of the room that Percy’s taken over as his lab. Percy’s glasses are crooked, and he’s staring intently at what looks to Cassandra like a bunch of random scraps of metal.

“Isn’t there anyone else you could ask?” Percy asks, sighing and still staring at the metal.

“They’re all busy planning for that dinner tonight with someone important. Lord and Lady Briarwood or whatever?” Cassandra says. “Speaking of which, you’re going to have to clean yourself up before that.”

“I’m well aware of that, Cassandra. That’s why I was hoping to get some work done before tonight,” Percy says.

“It’ll be there tomorrow,” Cassandra says. “Come on, Professor Anders gave us the rest of the day off while he deals with stuff for this dinner. Shouldn’t we enjoy it?”

“I was enjoying it until you so rudely interrupted me,” Percy says. “And aren’t you a little old for hide and seek?”

“We live in a castle. There’s no such thing as too old for hide and seek,” Cassandra says. “Though I guess as an eighteen year old, you’re just so old and wise with your weird metal thing. What is that anyways?”

“Something that I’m not abandoning to play hide and seek,” Percy says in that curt tone of voice he uses whenever he thinks he’s being clever.

“Whatever, nerd,” Cassandra says.

\---

Cassandra’s never enjoyed being the youngest. It’s frustrating being ignored and told she’ll understand things once she’s older. But right now, she has never been more grateful to be the youngest. The Briarwoods’ goons aren’t paying any attention to her, and the chains they put her in are meant for an adult, and her wrists are small enough that she manages to wriggle out of them.

She sneaks out of the dungeons and up to her bedroom. For all Percy may act superior, years of playing hide and seek really have taught her how to move around the castle unseen. She grabs her armor and a shortsword. She doesn’t really think she can fight off anyone, but if she’s going to try to save any of her family, it doesn’t seem like a good idea to go in unarmed. Then, she goes to her parents’ room and searches desperately for a spare dungeon key. Finally, she finds a large key ring and pockets it, hoping that one of the keys will help. She grabs her mother’s armor too, just in case. She’s not even sure if her mother is still alive, and it’s too big to fit her, but it seems worth grabbing.

When she gets back down to the dungeons, still moving silently and unseen, she can tell that most of her family is being actively watched and interrogated. The only one she might be able break out is Percy, who’s near the front, not attracting much attention. Cassandra rushes over to him and pulls out the key ring, looking through the keys, trying to find one that might unlock Percy’s chains without making too much noise. It takes a minute, and Cassandra’s pretty sure they’re going to be caught at any moment, but eventually, they find the right key, and Percy frees himself from the chains.

Cassandra grabs Percy’s hand, and they run.

\---

They’ve left the castle grounds when the archers start in. Cassandra isn’t sure when they were spotted or how they were spotted. She figures that the Briarwoods must have surrounded the castle, but she’s not really sure, and it doesn’t really matter as the arrows come flying at them. Cassandra manages to swerve out of the way, but three arrows hit Percy square in the chest.

Cassandra looks down for half a second, and she desperately wants to pick Percy up and keep going, but she knows the archers are getting ready to loose another stream of arrows, and she needs to avoid them. Percy’s too heavy for her to carry at her size, and even if she can get him to safety, she’s not sure she can save him from the wounds he’s already suffered.

So she leaves him there, not even taking the time to say sorry as she runs as fast as she can, dodging behind trees to get some cover. Percy’s clever. Maybe he’ll find a way out of this himself, she thinks, though she knows it’s unlikely. At the very least, she can manage to save herself.

\---

The next few days are a blur that she can’t even remember as her brain basically shuts down out of shock and grief. Eventually, she finds herself in some small coastal town, and she realizes that she has no idea what to do next. She can’t go back to Whitestone, not with the Briarwoods still there and most of her family likely dead, but she’s not sure what else to do.

She searches through her bag, looking to see what she grabbed before escaping. It’s not much. She has the two sets of armor and the shortsword, but other than that, she didn’t manage to grab much, just a few sets of clothing and a bag of money with no more than 10 or 20 gold, change from last time she went to the market. She’s still in the fancy dress she wore to the Briarwoods’ dinner, though it’s ripped and stained beyond repair. She’s not sure what people will make of that.

In any case, it’s not much to work with, and she’s going to have to have to rely on her own talents to get by. At least being the youngest of seven has made her really good at making puppy dog eyes.

She changes into the least nice set of clothes she has (which are still pretty nice, but she figures it won’t be long before they become tattered too), tries to make herself look as small and pathetic as possible, and poses as a beggar. (Or, really, she supposes she just is a beggar now.) She doesn’t get much money, but people throw a few coins and pieces of food her way.

It’s not the life she wants or the life she planned for, but it will do for now.

\---

She stays in that coastal town for two years, though she can’t keep up the beggar persona for more than a few months. One day, when she has no money, and everyone walking through the square where she’s begging ignores her, she knows she has to try something else or go to bed hungry.

There’s a cart nearby, selling bread rolls. It’s nearing the end of the day, and there’s enough left over that’s she’s fairly sure that they won’t all sell, and the merchant will have to throw out most of them. She sneaks over to the cart, keeping to the shadows so that she can take a piece of bread and slip away unseen. She almost feels bad, but it’s not like the merchant would have sold it anyways.

From then on, whenever she can’t make enough money begging, she steals her dinner. For a little while, she feels bad about it, but she tries to only take food that won’t be sold anyways, and after a while, it’s simply the most practical way to survive. She has to use the skills she has, and sneaking around is one of her strongest.

It takes two years before someone catches her, and when it happens, it’s a young half-elf man who Cassandra’s never seen before and assumes must be from out of town. He spots her as she takes a piece of fruit off a cart, locks eyes with her, and beckons her over. She moves to put the fruit back, but the man makes a face at her, so Cassandra just walks over to him instead.

“Am I in trouble?” she asks, keeping her voice down.

“No, of course not,” the man says. “I just wanted to tell you that your technique is sloppy.”

“And what would you know about it?”

The man smirks. “Give me six seconds.”

Cassandra scoffs. “What can you do in six seconds?”

“I can prove that I know what I’m talking about,” the man says. “Seriously, shut your eyes for six seconds, and I will sneak away well enough that you won’t be able to find me.”

“Fine,” Cassandra says, sighing and grasping her bag a little closer, because she’s pretty sure there’s not much the man can do in six seconds, but she certainly doesn’t trust him.

She shuts her eyes and counts to six. When she opens them, just as he promised, the man has gone, and although Cassandra looks through the town square very intently, she can’t find him. As she continues to glance around, suddenly, the man appears right next to her.

“See my point?” he says.

“Maybe,” Cassandra says. “I get it. You’re stealthy. What does this have to do with me?”

“I can teach you to be better,” the man says. “If you can fight, there may even be a job for you.”

“I can fight,” Cassandra says, and she knows she’s too eager, but she’s always been the sort of person who jumps at new opportunities, and this is the first one she’s had in a long time. “I have my own shortsword and everything. It’s probably dull by now, but I can help.”

“Well, there’s someone I need to check with, but we may be in business,” the man says. “I’m Vax, by the way.”

“Cassandra.”

“Good to meet you, Cassandra,” Vax says. “As I said, there’s someone I need to check in with. Wait here a moment.”

And then, without saying another word, he hurries off.

\---

Cassandra follows Vax, of course. He doesn’t make it easy, since he likes to swerve in and out of shadows and behind trees, even though he’s only walking a few blocks through the center of town. She’s also pretty sure he knows she’s following him, even though she’s trailing a little ways behind him, but he doesn’t stop her, so it doesn’t really matter.

As it turns out, the person that Vax needed to talk to is a young woman who looks very similar to him—his sister, probably. They’re already talking when Cassandra gets close enough to hear what they’re saying.

“We can’t just take in a random kid because you like her,” the woman says, clearly annoyed, and Cassandra feels her heart sink.

“We’ve taken in plenty of random people, Vex,” Vax says. “I mean, it hasn’t been that long since Pike or Keyleth joined, and Keyleth annoys most of us most of the time.”

“Yeah, but at least she’s an adult,” the woman (Vex, apparently) says. “How old is this girl you saw?”

“I’d peg her as at least sixteen or seventeen,” Vax says. “She’s at least as old as we were when we tried to make it on our own. She’s old enough.”

(Cassandra’s only fifteen, and until this minute, she hadn’t realized just how weathered the months living on the street have made her.)

“Okay, then what does she do?” Vex says. “I mean, Keyleth, for all she annoys us, can turn into animals and do magic. That’s obviously worth something. All you said was that this girl was kind of good at stealing stuff, and you can already do that just fine.”

“She says she can fight,” Vax says.

“And you trust that?”

“Yeah, I think she’s telling the truth,” Vax says. “The way she moves when she’s trying to be stealthy is pretty similar to what I did when we had just left Syngorn, and I was pretty much just trying to adapt whatever we had learned in our dueling lessons. I think she’s been trained to fight.”

“That’s still not a lot to go on,” Vex says.

“Just give her a chance, okay?” Vax says. “If she turns out to be a liability, we’ll just ditch her somewhere.”

Vex says. “Fine. But if we have to ditch her, you owe me twenty gold. Plus the value of whatever she steals, because I do not trust her on that front.”

“Really?” Vax says. “This could change the course of a girl’s life, and you’re making it about money?”

“I’m just saying it’s a valid concern,” Vex says.

“You’re so predictable,” Vax says. “Can I at least go tell her the good news?”

Vex rolls her eyes but then nods. Vax walks off, spotting Cassandra where she’s hiding half a block away.

“So you heard most of that,” he says.

“Yeah, pretty much,” Cassandra says.

“My sister’s a miserly asshole, but don’t hold it against her too much. We get really good deals when we go shopping,” Vax says. “Come on, we have rooms at a tavern. You can meet the others.”

That night, Cassandra shares a crowded tavern room with Vex (who keeps shooting her suspicious glances), an awkward red-haired woman, a friendly gnome cleric (who, fortunately, gives Cassandra space when it’s clear she’s not exactly in the mood to socialize), and a bear. Cassandra isn’t entirely sure what to make of the whole situation, and she doesn’t talk to any of them much, but it’s the happiest she’s been in two years.

(She tries to put on her armor the next morning, but it’s been too long since she wore it, and she’s grown in the meantime. She decides to try on her mother’s armor instead, and it fits perfectly.)

\---

She gets into a fight the next day when some roaming goblins decide to attack their group as they travel on to the next town. It’s not that hard a fight, and she manages to hold her own but only just barely, since she’s definitely out of practice. She looks around and sees the rest of the group, and none of them seem to be struggling at all as they fight, and she’s pretty sure that this is the point where she’s going to be kicked out of the group and have to go back to stealing stuff to get by.

Instead, Vax claps her on the shoulder and tells her they’ll practice.

And true to his word, once they’ve gotten settled in at a tavern in the town they were headed to (and once Vex haggles down the price of the rooms to half of the initial asking price), Vax turns to her and says, “Come on, Cassie, let’s go practice.”

Cassandra grimaces. “Cassie?”

“Hasn’t anyone ever called you Cassie?” Vax says. “It seems like a pretty normal nickname.”

“Not really. Sometimes people called me Cass, but mostly I go by Cassandra,” Cassandra says.

“Well, either way, let’s practice,” Vax says.

“I’ll grab my sword,” Cassandra says.

“Don’t bother,” Vax says. “You won’t need it.”

“Oh, are we working on footwork?” Cassandra says. “I was trying to remember what I had learned earlier today, but I know I’m out of practice. I’m sure you could correct my form.”

“No, nothing like that,” Vax says, making an odd face. “I never really liked lessons like that where someone just dictates what is proper form for hours on end.”

“So what are we doing then?”

“I was thinking more along the lines of high level tactics,” Vax says. “You’re a sneaky person like myself. You need to work more on staying hidden during battles and sneaking up on your enemies from behind.”

“And how are we going to work on that?”

“Well, I had an idea for something we could do,” Vax says. “You could call it a training exercise if you want to be all formal and stuffy about it.”

“That’s not necessary. What is it?”

“Well, I was thinking that I’d hide, and then you could try to find me and sneak up on me, and then we’d swap roles,” Vax says.

“So it’s hide and seek,” Cassandra says.

“It’s super stealthy hide and seek,” Vax says. “This way is way more fun.”

“Fine,” Cassandra says. “Ready or not, here I come.”

“Hey, you have to give me time to hide first,” Vax says.

“Six seconds?” Cassandra says. “You claimed that was all you needed yesterday.”

“Sounds good. Six seconds starting now,” Vax says.

As Cassandra starts counting, she can’t help but begin to smile. It’s not quite the same as hide and seek in the Whitestone castle, but it’s the closest she’s come in two years.

\---

What Cassandra learns over the next few days is that this new group she’s joined (Vox Machina, apparently, or according to Scanlan, the SHITs) is very good at fighting and very bad at actually talking to people. Sure, Vex is good at haggling (to the point where Cassandra has started to wonder at what point haggling turns into ripping off merchants), and Scanlan is great at making up weirdly compelling tall tales, but none of them are good at actually reading a situation and behaving appropriately in response, which means they manage to at least mildly annoy most of the people they talk to. Back in Whitestone, Cassandra had never been old enough to actually take part in diplomatic negotiations, but she’s seen enough of them to know all the things that Vox Machina is doing wrong.

This becomes even more abundantly clear when they’re trying to talk to the mayor of a small town about some corrupt guards. Cassandra figures they’re actually doing this mayor a favor, but everyone keeps saying dumb things, and it’s starting to sound like they’re threatening this mayor. Cassandra, frustrated with how incredibly stupid everyone is being, decides to step in.

“Excuse me, I’m sorry for how rude my colleagues are being,” Cassandra says. “I’m Cassandra Johanna Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo. Please allow me to explain the situation.”

The mayor looks at her attentively, and Cassandra begins to explain how they saw the guards letting some bandits in the middle of the night, and how they’d like the mayor’s help in exposing this corruption. She makes sure that her voice doesn’t waver as she speaks, and they leave the office with an assurance from the mayor that he will look into the issue, which is basically the best they can hope for.

“That was amazing, Cassandra,” Scanlan says after they’ve left the meeting.

“It really wasn’t that big a deal,” Cassandra says. “I really just tried to calmly explain the situation instead of weirdly insisting that we were somehow his only hope at saving the town.”

“No, I’m not talking about the negotiation. I’m talking about the name,” Scanlan says. “I’ve come up with some great names on the spot, and it’s hard to top Burt Reynolds, but you outdid me. How did you come up with that name?”

“Well, I didn’t exactly make it up. That’s really my name,” Cassandra says.

“Your parents must have a flair for the dramatic,” Scanlan says.

“It’s more like her parents must be pretentious assholes,” Vax says.

“They weren’t either of those things,” Cassandra says, hoping no one will think too much of the past tense. “They had their reasons for the name.”

“So it’s Cassandra Johanna Von Something Something Else de Rolo?” Vax says.

“Yes, one of my middle names is definitely Something Else,” Cassandra says.

“Come on, it’s Cassandra Johanna Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo,” Vex says. After receiving blank looks from the rest of the party, she adds, “What? I’m very smart, and honestly, it’s not that long a name.”

“Right, it’s Cassandra Jo Von Muscles Cloud Sky Dinner Roll,” Grog says.

“Yes, that’s exactly it,” Vax says. He turns to Cassandra and asks, “So does this mean I can still call you Cassie?”

“I don’t think I actually gave you permission to call me Cassie in the first place,” Cassandra says, but she’s smiling as she says it.

(The next time, she winds up introducing herself using her full name, Vax jumps in and says, “You can call her Cassie.”)

\---

It’s Keyleth who actually asks her about the name instead of just making dumb jokes about it, two days after that meeting with the mayor. Vex and Pike are out running errands, leaving Keyleth and Cassandra behind at the tavern. Cassandra’s messing with her armor, trying to get one of the more stubborn straps to tighten fully when Keyleth walks up to her.

“Hey Cassandra, I know we haven’t really talked at all, and I don’t know if this is weird or anything, but could we talk?” Keyleth asks.

“Yes, we can talk,” Cassandra says, leaving the armor for now. “I don’t think it’s that weird to talk, given that we’ll likely be working together for some time.”

“Well, it’s about your name, and, you know, it’s a really pretty name, but from what I’ve heard, people with those sorts of long names tend to be nobles, so I was just wondering if you were a noble,” Keyleth says.

“Why are you asking?” Cassandra says, because she likes Vox Machina, but she’s not ready to tell any of them her full history, and if she’s going to tell one of them part of it, it will be Vax, who she’s been spending lots of time training with, instead of Keyleth, who she barely knows at all.

“Just curious,” Keyleth says. “And I guess if you are, I kind of wanted some advice.”

“From me?” Cassandra asks. “You realize I’m definitely younger than you, right?”

“It’s just that if you are nobility, and I’m not saying you are, since that was just a guess from your name, we have something in common,” Keyleth says.

Cassandra looks Keyleth up and down, taking in her antler crown, frayed hems, and worn leather armor. She certainly doesn’t look like any of the nobles Cassandra has known.

“I admit I don’t know you that well, but I didn’t think you were a noblewoman,” Cassandra says.

“I’m not exactly noble, but I’m next in line to lead my druid tribe,” Keyleth says. “I’m actually here because part of our whole initiation ritual is going out and seeing the world and finding your place. It’s just that the whole idea of leading a bunch of people is kind of daunting, and I figured that if you were noble, we could maybe swap tips.”

“I’m not ready to tell you where I’m coming from, but I will say that I was never in a position where I would be the next one to lead,” Cassandra says, which is true, because even if she was in a noble family, as the youngest child, she didn’t exactly have many responsibilities. “Good luck, though. Leading druids does sound like it would be hard.”

“Of course, and I’m sorry I overstepped,” Keyleth says.

“It’s fine. I’m sorry I don’t know what it’s like to inherit a leadership position,” Cassandra says.

Cassandra can’t help but think, just for a second, that unless one of her parents or siblings somehow escaped, she is the next in the de Rolo line. Then again, with Whitestone fallen, it’s not like there is a de Rolo line anymore.

\---

No one asks about Cassandra’s name again (except to make fun of it occasionally), and sometime between saving the emperor’s kids and stabbing a betraying mind flayer in the Underdark, Vox Machina starts to feel like not quite family but the next best thing. She still has nightmares sometimes, but mostly, she manages to repress the memories until one day, they’re drinking tea in Allura’s tower.

“Lord and Lady Briarwood were quite nice,” Allura says, as she rattles off a list of council business, and Cassandra almost drops her cup of tea.

“Lord and Lady Briarwood?” Cassandra asks, and she’s trying to be casual, but she’s pretty sure everyone can see the panic on her face.

“Yes, they visited from Whitestone. I believe they’re working on building a new bridge with Emon,” Allura says, and Cassandra’s hear sinks further, because knowing that the Briarwoods are still in Whitestone means that, for the first time, Cassandra knows for certain that there’s no point in hoping that that night didn’t end horrifically.

“They’re not still in town, are they?” Cassandra asks.

“No, but I imagine they will be back within the next month or so to help work out some of the logistics of this bridge,” Allura says.

“Would you mind letting me know when they are coming back into town?” Cassandra asks.

“Certainly. Any reason?”

“It’s not important. It’s just that my family had some dealings with the Briarwoods some time ago, and I’m just a little curious,” Cassandra says, because it’s not like Vox Machina hasn’t figured out that she’s from a noble family.

“I’ll do my best to keep you informed,” Allura says. “More tea anyone?”

And then Scanlan starts requesting a very particular type of tea, and that afternoon, they decide they need to go to Vasselheim, and the Briarwoods just aren’t an immediate concern.

Cassandra’s been ignoring them for nearly five years. She can do it for another few weeks.

\---

They leave for Vasselheim. Cassandra goes unconscious for a few seconds while fighting a dragon, and then Vex decides to tell Vax about it, which makes Vax get weirdly protective and knock out a boy around Cassandra’s age who had been camping outside their keep. All in all, it’s a fairly average week for them.

In all the excitement, it’s easy enough for Cassandra not to dwell on the fact that the Briarwoods may soon reenter her life. When Asum shows up at their keep the next day and tells them that they’ve been invited to a formal dinner with the Briarwoods in a week’s time, she is promptly reminded.

Cassandra knows she should remain calm and figure out what she wants to achieve with the Briarwoods (though she’s not really sure what there is to achieve, since it’s not like she can just take back Whitestone), but all she manages to do is panic. As soon as Asum leaves, she runs down to the training room they have in the basement of the keep and starts practicing with her shortsword. It’s not like it will do her very much good in this case, because it’s not like she can just stab the Briarwoods when they’re guests of the emperor. Still, at least it’s something to do that feels vaguely productive.

In true Vox Machina fashion, though, she’s only about ten minutes into her practice when the entire party piles into the training room with a million questions for her, and Cassandra knows that she needs to answer.

“What’s going on, Cassie? You’re acting weird,” Vax says, stepping directly in front of Cassandra.

“It’s this dinner,” Cassandra says, dropping her sword arm just in time to avoid stabbing Vax. “It brings back some memories.”

“You know that we’ve never asked why you were living on the streets when we found you,” Vax says. “You said that your family had dealings with the Briarwoods, and I didn’t question it, because we all kind of assume your family are high society types. But given how you’re acting and given that we’re about to go to this party, I think we might need a bit of a history lesson.”

Cassandra takes a deep breath. “You’re right. It’s just that I’ve never said this out loud before.”

“It’s okay. It gets better,” Scanlan says in that fake solemn tone he likes to use when he’s telling a bad joke.

Cassandra grimaces. “Scanlan, you already know I’m gay.”

“Just trying to lighten the mood,” Scanlan says.

“I’m not sure the mood can be lightened,” Cassandra says. “Lord and Lady Briarwood are responsible for the death of my entire family. I am the youngest child of the de Rolo family, which is, or I suppose was, the noble family in charge of Whitestone. I grew up there. And then, one day, we had the Briarwoods over for dinner, and they and their companions chained up and tortured and killed my family. I only managed to sneak out because I was thirteen, so they weren’t paying much attention to me. After that, I wound up living on the streets, because what else was I going to do?”

No one speaks for a moment before Vax says, “I’m so sorry, Cassie.”

“Are you sure they’re all dead?” Keyleth asks. “If you got out, maybe someone else did too.”

“I saw some of the bodies. Not all of them but enough to know that that was their end goal,” Cassandra says. “The Briarwoods are still in Whitestone. Even if someone in my family survived that first night, nothing good could have happened to them.”

“And you know they’re still in Whitestone?” Keyleth asks.

“I found that out about two weeks ago,” Cassandra says. She scans the room, watching as they all realize that she spent the entire time they were in Vasselheim trying not to think about this.

“I don’t mean to be insensitive, Cassie, but what’s our game plan?” Vax says. “We’re about to go to this dinner. What should we do?”

“Do you want to kill them?” Grog asks.

“No. Or, well, yes, but maybe not at a formal dinner,” Cassandra says. “I don’t want revenge, but I do want justice. I was never set to inherit rule of Whitestone, but it does belong to my family, and that means something to me. There must always be a de Rolo in Whitestone, and as long as the Briarwoods live, I don’t think that’s possible.”

“But we’re not, like, chopping them into tiny pieces at this dinner?” Grog asks.

“It’s a formal dinner. I don’t think we’ll even be allowed to bring in weapons,” Cassandra says, and then she begins to panic as it hits her that this is exactly how her family was taken by surprise before.

“Cassie, are you okay?” Vax asks.

“Just…be careful at that dinner,” Cassandra says. “This is all feeling very familiar, and I don’t know if I can do this.”

“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to, darling,” Vex says.

“I don’t know if I can do that either,” Cassandra says. “Just the thought of all of us being in there defenseless is terrifying. I guess I can hide some daggers on me, and Vax can probably do the same, but they might catch that, and it’s not enough.”

“Can you even go in there? Will they recognize you?” Keyleth asks.

“I honestly don’t know,” Cassandra says. “I was a lot younger the last time they saw me, but they know I’m the only de Rolo left. It may be that I have a bit of a target on my back.”

“Can you go in disguise? We still have that hat,” Scanlan says.

“That might be a little hard to explain to the emperor,” Cassandra says.

“Good point. I could make you invisible? Can you be sneaky and pretend you’re not there?” Scanlan asks.

Cassandra thinks for a moment. “It could work, I guess. It might be the best plan we have.”

“Great, when the Briarwoods pull their dastardly plan, you’ll be fully armed, and you’ll spring into action and save us all, and it will all be thanks to me,” Scanlan says.

For the first time since Asum visited, Cassandra smiles ever so faintly. “So I’m going to save us all, but this is all thanks to you.”

“Obviously. Everyone knows I’m the savior of Vox Machina,” Scanlan says.

\---

She goes to her room and just stares at a wall after that, because she doesn’t really want to deal with the rest of Vox Machina, and training more feels pointless. She’s lost in her own thoughts when she notices that Vax has somehow silently entered her room.

“I should have locked the door,” Cassandra says.

“You did,” Vax says, holding up a lock pick.

“You could have knocked.”

“Would you have answered?”

“No, probably not,” Cassandra says. “So have you been sent to check on me? You can tell the group I’m fine.”

“I’m not doing this for the group. You’ve been up here for a while. I was worried. And I guess,” Vax says, “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry about your family. I always kind of figured you were from a rich family, but I always thought it was a situation like my sister’s and mine where we just ran away from our asshole dad. I never imagined it was so awful.”

“Thanks, I guess. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but you can understand my reluctance,” Cassandra says.

“Yeah, I get that,” Vax says.

“You know, you don’t need to be a part of this. This is my burden to bear. I don’t want to inflict any of it on you,” Cassandra says.

“Of course I’m going to be a part of it. All of us are,” Vax says. “It’s not the same, but my sister and I know some of your pain, and I don’t think we’ll ever be able to do anything about it. You can at least let us help you.”

Cassandra thinks for a moment about what Vax has said. Neither of them have talked much about their lives before Vox Machina, but Cassandra tries to remember what she knows about the twins’ parents.

“Your mother was killed by a dragon, right?” Cassandra says. “I remember Vex said that that’s why she knows so much about dragons.”

“She was.”

“I don’t know if this is too personal, but were you there?” Cassandra asks.

Vax shakes his head. “Vex and I were still in Syngorn. We got home, and everything had been burnt.”

“If you had been there, and you had a chance to escape, but Vex had gotten hurt, like really hurt, like maybe past the point of saving, would you have still tried to get her out of there?” Cassandra asks.

“Yeah, I would have,” Vax says. “I mean, I probably would have died, but I’m kind of useless without Vex, so, yeah, I’d have tried.”

“Then you’re a better person than I am,” Cassandra says.

“Cassie, what happened?” Vax says. “You know that nothing the Briarwoods did is your fault, right?”

“Yes, but the things I did that night are my fault,” Cassandra says. “I had a brother. Well, actually I had four brothers, but there was one who I almost saved. I snuck him out of our castle, but then an arrow hit him, and I just kept running. We weren’t like you and Vex, but he was still my brother, and I just left him.”

“You made a choice, and you lived,” Vax says. “Who’s to say what the right choice was in this case? If you had tried to save your brother, maybe you both would have died. I don’t think there’s an easy answer here.”

“I just keep thinking of his body lying there in the snow, and I feel so guilty,” Cassandra says.

“Well, I can’t assuage your guilt, but I can promise I will do everything I can to help you get justice,” Vax says. “And even though I can’t bring your brother back, if what you need is an older brother, I can do my best to fill that role.”

“Thanks, Vax,” Cassandra says, chuckling a little to prevent herself from crying. “Though if you’re looking to fill Percy’s role specifically, it won’t work. You’re nothing like him.”

“Then what was he like?” Vax says.

“He was…obnoxious,” Cassandra says, saying the first word that comes to mind.

“I can be obnoxious. I’m really good at that,” Vax says.

“Percy was obnoxious in a different way,” Cassandra says. “He was a genius, and I think that made him think he was always the smartest person in the room. A lot of the time he probably was actually the smartest person in the room, but that didn’t make him any less obnoxious to be around.”

“Sounds like a dick,” Vax says, a twinkle in his eye.

“Oh, yeah, totally,” Cassandra says. “I liked to tell him that back before, well, everything. I kind of regret it now.”

“You didn’t know what would happen,” Vax says.

“Yeah, but I knew I was being a brat,” Cassandra says. “He was a tinkerer. I always sort of thought it was a waste of time. I didn’t ever think to just ask him what he was building. I guess now I’ll never know, since I’m sure the Briarwoods have destroyed his lab. Or weaponized it.”

“Hey, we’ll take back that lab and rebuild it,” Vax says.

“It doesn’t matter. It’s not like there’s anyone left to use it,” Cassandra says.

“Yeah, but I bet we can convince Grog to touch something corrosive,” Vax says. “Wouldn’t that make you feel better?”

“Yeah, I guess it would,” Cassandra says.

“And, hey, don’t beat yourself up too much about anything with your brother. You were pretty young,” Vax says. He stops and thinks for a moment. “Wait, you said you were thirteen when it happened. How long were you living on the streets?

“Two years,” Cassandra says.

“So when I met you, you were fifteen?”

“Yeah.”

“Huh, I kind of thought you were older than that.”

Cassandra shrugs. “The stuff I went through is the sort of thing that ages you.”

“That makes sense,” Vax says. “Wait, so that means that now you’re…”

“Eighteen. I turned eighteen a few weeks ago when we were in the Underdark, actually,” Cassandra says. She hadn’t bothered to tell anyone, because she didn’t really want anyone to know her age, and it’s not like Vox Machina really does birthdays anyways.

“Well, now I feel like I’ve been corrupting the youth or something,” Vax says.

“Don’t,” Cassandra says. “If anyone corrupted my youth, it was the Briarwoods.”

“So let’s kill them, yeah?” Vax says.

“Yeah, let’s do that,” Cassandra says.

\---

Vax is unconscious. Vax is unconscious, and the Briarwoods are getting away, and Cassandra can’t help but feel like she’s reliving the worst night of her life.

Vex gets to him in time, and for a moment, Cassandra can’t help but think that Vex is a better sister than her before she remembers that Vax wouldn’t want her to think like that. In any case, the battle is too intense for Cassandra to think too much before she finds herself chasing the Briarwoods out to where they’ve somehow teleported into their carriage.

Lady Briarwood smiles at Cassandra, and Cassandra can feel her stomach twist into a knot, but it’s nothing compared to what she says next.

“I think you should come visit us some time, Cassandra. You’re always welcome back home. It would be nice if you visited your family once in a while,” she says, and Cassandra stares at her dumbfounded as she teleports away again, because either this is some elaborate trap or someone else from her family survived.

As the rest of Vox Machina scrambles around, recovering from the fight, Cassandra says, “We need to go to Whitestone.”

“Do you think we can?” Keyleth says. “Tonight didn’t exactly go great for us.”

“We can be ready next time or at least research vampires,” Cassandra says. “But if someone else in my family is there, I need to find them.”

“Okay, we’ll prepare to go to Whitestone,” Keyleth says.

“And you,” Cassandra says, turning to Vax. “Don’t you ever do that to me again.”

“To you?” Vex asks. “What about me?”

“Normally, I’d give this one to you, but given that he was nearly killed by the same people who killed all of my family, I think I get to be the upset one here,” Cassandra says. “Or who killed most of my family, I guess. I don’t know anymore.”

“Sorry,” Vax says, a little sheepish. “I’ll work really hard to get us ready for Whitestone if that helps?”

“It’s something,” Cassandra says. “Is there any point in telling you not to rush in and do stupid stuff once we’re in Whitestone?”

“No, probably not,” Vax says.

“It’s just that I’ve lost too many people I care about to the Briarwoods,” Cassandra says. “I can’t lose anyone else. Especially not you, Vax.”

“Well, I’m probably going to keep doing stupid stuff, but I seem to be pretty good at getting myself out of bad situations,” Vax says. “And, hey, let’s give it up for my sister. She’s pretty badass. She’ll save me.”

“I wouldn’t exactly mind if you stopped being so incredibly stupid, brother,” Vex says.

“Yeah, well, if I die fighting these assholes, at least it will have been for a good cause,” Vax says.

\---

Whitestone is different and desolate, and Cassandra has never been more determined to save it. She sees a string of corpses fashioned to look like her and her party strung up on the Sun Tree, and for a moment, it feels like the Briarwoods have killed her family all over again.

It’s hard to find allies when the streets are empty (and Cassandra suspects that most of the people she had known in Whitestone are long dead) and they have to walk around in disguise. Still, they start attacking the Briarwoods’ “new nobles,” and it feels like they’re at least making a little headway.

And when they run across Archibald, Cassandra starts to feel like there might be some hope left. She doesn’t remember him terribly well, but she remembers he was loyal to her family, and when she hears that he’s been working towards rebellion in Whitestone, it’s the most encouraging thing she’s heard since getting to Whitestone.

“This is good news, but how do I know you can stop the darkness that lies in that castle?” Archibald asks, glancing skeptically at Vox Machina as they tell him what they have accomplished so far.

“Drop it,” Cassandra says, looking to Scanlan. Scanlan waves his hand, and Cassandra’s form shifts from looking like a young peasant woman to looking like herself.

Archibald looks her up and down. It takes him a moment to recognize her, but when he does, she sees his face shift into an expression of surprise, and he drops the book he’s holding.

“Cassandra,” he says.

“Hello,” Cassandra says.

“I didn’t think… We all assumed you had perished,” he says.

“I thought the same of you, honestly,” Cassandra says. “It’s good to know someone is left.”

“And you have no idea how much joy it brings me that you’re here,” Archibald says. He takes a step forward and touches Cassandra’s arm before bringing his arm higher and lightly touching one of the white streaks in Cassandra’s hair. They appeared some time in the two years Cassandra was living on the streets, and she barely thinks about them anymore. “Your hair. It seems you’ve aged beyond your years.”

“It was not easy to leave Whitestone,” Cassandra says. “My friends helped. I promise you they are strong and can help here.”

“Then, that is excellent news,” Archibald says, smiling slightly. “They have had a de Rolo on their side. We finally have one on ours. This is our only chance.”

Cassandra’s jaw drops, and she’s fairly certain that if she were holding anything, it would be her turn to drop it. She takes a deep breath and does her best to stay composed (something she’s gotten very good at over the past few weeks).

“A de Rolo on their side?” Cassandra asks.

“Your brother Percival lives, but he is changed,” Archibald says.

“Percy’s alive?” Cassandra says, hardly believing it, since she all but saw his dead body.

“Yes, but he is lost to us,” Archibald says. “Your brother is not the man you once knew, Cassandra. Like this town, he has become something twisted and cruel. He is not one of us anymore. He is one of them.”

“Them being the Briarwoods?” Cassandra says. She already knows the answer, but she has to ask.

Archibald nods. “Yes, he is working quite closely with them.”

“How did this happen?” Cassandra asks. “Percy was never cruel. He was pompous, but we all were in a way, and I found him obnoxious, but I really think that’s because every little sister is obligated to find her older brother obnoxious. I can’t imagine him working for them.”

“Surviving that attack changes people,” Archibald says. “You yourself are changed. I remember you as a child. You were eager, almost flighty. You don’t seem to be that girl anymore.”

“Of course I’ve changed,” Cassandra says. “I was a kid when the Briarwoods came. I had to grow up.”

“In a way, that was true of your brother as well,” Archibald says. “We were the ones to find him and nurse him back to health after the attack. He even helped lead our first attempt at a rebellion, but the whole time, he was intense in a way I hadn’t seen before.”

Cassandra takes a deep breath and tries not to think about what it means that the first people to find Percy were her family’s allies. “And what happened? How did the Briarwoods get him?” she asks, trying to focus.

“They took him when we tried to rebel,” Archibald says. “They intended to use his captivity as a show of their power, but somehow, they won him over.”

“They didn’t turn him into a vampire, did they? Or charm him? I know they charmed one of the council members in Emon,” Cassandra says.

“He’s still human. As for charming him, it’s possible. I know that Lord Briarwood can do that to people,” Archibald says. “Still, I think that it’s more that they gave him a chance to harness his grief somehow and build something. He’s still an inventor, you know, and they say the things he builds are terrifying.”

Cassandra wants to say that that sounds wrong, that the things he invented before the attack never seemed dangerous, but she realizes she doesn’t actually know that for sure, so she just asks, “And what is he building?”

“Do you remember Dr. Ripley?” Archibald asks.

“Vaguely,” Cassandra says. “She was one of the Briarwoods’ people. I remember she and Percy spoke for quite a while at the dinner we had.”

“They’ve spoken much more since that dinner,” Archibald says. “It seems the two of them have worked together to design a weapon that they say will kill the gods. I am not sure what it does, but I have heard that Ripley lost a hand building it, so I imagine it is quite dangerous.”

“That still doesn’t sound like Percy,” Cassandra says. “He loved his inventions, but he never wanted to kill the gods. He even learned Celestial.”

“The Briarwoods corrupt everything around them, him included. That is why we need you,” Archibald says. “Help us, Cassandra Johanna Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo.”

Cassandra looks behind her to see the rest of Vox Machina smiling at Archibald, likely impressed that he remembers her full name. (Cassandra uses it frequently, but only Vex ever remembers it.)

“I will,” she says.

\---

So they plan, and they strike out against the Briarwoods’ minions, and Scanlan burns down a house and then refuses to stop talking about it. (Cassandra’s pretty sure he’s making up most of the details, but that’s to be expected with Scanlan.) They’re too busy planning and fighting for anyone to bring up Percy, which is good, because Cassandra doesn’t know how to feel about that (although it strengthens her resolve to make the Briarwoods pay for every awful thing they’ve done to her family).

It’s Vax who finally mentions it as they set up camp in a tunnel under the castle that Keyleth made.

“Hey, before we do this, I just wanted to ask. Percy’s the brother you told me about before, right?” Vax asks, keeping his voice down so that the rest of Vox Machina can’t hear.

“Yes, that’s him,” Cassandra says.

“So what’s our play if we run into him?” Vax asks.

“When we run into him,” Cassandra says. “Based on what Archibald said and based on what the Briarwoods have done so far, Percy’s here, and they’ve been waiting to use him against me.”

“So what do we do?”

“I don’t know,” Cassandra says, inhaling sharply. “I’ve tried to come up with a good answer, but I don’t know what Percy’s like anymore. I think if he attacks us, we have to fight. I need you, all of you, to make it out of this. I won’t ask you not to defend yourselves.”

“And you’re really okay with that?” Vax asks.

Cassandra shrugs weakly. “For almost five years, I thought I was the only remaining de Rolo. If I have to, I can be that again.”

“Cassie.”

“What?”

“Stop bullshitting me,” Vax says. “I know something about what it’s like to bottle up your feelings, and it’s fine if you don’t want to talk about your brother, but I can tell you’re not okay.” 

“Of course I’m not okay,” Cassandra says. “My city and my brother have been corrupted by the Briarwoods, and I don’t know if I can get out of here with all of you alive, much less take Whitestone back.”

“Okay, that makes sense,” Vax says. “Is that it?”

Cassandra shoots him a skeptical look. “Is that it? That’s a pretty big thing on its own.”

“Shit, that’s not what I meant,” Vax says. “I’m not great at the talking about feelings thing, as my sister will happily attest. It’s just that this whole time, you’ve seemed pretty together except for just now when I brought up Percy. Is there something going on there?”

“I guess there has been something I’ve been thinking about,” Cassandra says.

“Yeah?”

“Everything that happened when I left Percy behind happened because I decided he was past the point of saving,” Cassandra says. “I can’t do that again.”

“Cassie, do you think that Percy working for the Briarwoods is your fault?” Vax asks.

“It sort of is. If I hadn’t left him, we wouldn’t be in this position,” Cassandra says. “You heard Archibald. He found Percy that night. If I had tried to save him then, maybe we both would have gotten out of there, and even if we hadn’t, we still would have been together and with people on our side.”

“Maybe. Or maybe going back for him would have changed the timing, and you both would have been taken by the Briarwoods,” Vax says. “I’m not going to tell you how to feel, but the way I see this, there’s so many factors at play here, you shouldn’t blame yourself.”

“I guess,” Cassandra says, though she still feels guilty. She’s silent for a moment and then says, “Could you maybe not tell everyone else that we had this chat? I meant what I said before. I can’t lose anyone else, and if that means we have to fight Percy, we should fight him.”

“I’m good at being secretive,” Vax says. “And for what it’s worth, if Percy can be saved, I bet we can save him. We’re pretty good at saving people.”

Cassandra smiles weakly and tries to ignore the impending sense of doom.

\---

Keyleth casts dispel magic on the woman in the cell, and, for the third time this week, Cassandra comes face to face with one of her family’s murderers. Cassandra can’t help but instantly look at the stump where Ripley’s hand was. The wound has been well tended to, but it’s clear that it was blown off violently, and Cassandra doesn’t want to think that Percy could have done something like that.

Cassandra steps forward. “What good will it do us to release you? I don’t feel any need to take pity on you.”

“Then release me and I will help you,” Ripley says. “I worked with them for several years. I can be useful.”

“If you worked so closely with them, how do I know this isn’t a trap?” Cassandra says.

“Because I’ve been in here for months. I have every wish to see the Briarwoods suffer,” Ripley says.

Cassandra looks Ripley up and down. Her clothes are reasonably nice, but they’re dirty, and Ripley looks like she’s reaching the point of starvation. Cassandra’s fairly certain that she’s at least telling the truth about having been there for months.

“Then here’s the key question,” Cassandra says. “What did you do to land you here?”

“I didn’t do anything. It’s more that I was no longer useful to them,” Ripley says. “I have been replaced.”

“Replaced?”

“By their beautiful brilliant golden boy.”

Cassandra thinks for a moment, remembering what Archibald told them. “Do you mean Percival de Rolo?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I think I know what your freedom may be worth,” Cassandra says. “Tell me everything there is to know about him.”

“And what’s your interest in him?” Ripley says. “I know he’s fascinating, but I thought this uprising was about the Briarwoods.”

Cassandra removes the disguise hat from her head. It takes a moment for Ripley to recognize her, especially in the dim light of the dungeons, but when she does, her face twists into a look of shock.

“So the little one comes back to play,” Ripley says. “If you’re looking for the brother you used to have, you won’t find him.”

“That’s what people keep telling me,” Cassandra says. “I’d like to draw my own conclusions.”

“I think the two of you will have quite an interesting talk,” Ripley says, a faint smile on her face, and Cassandra can tell she’s holding back something important.

“So he’s in the palace, then? He’s with the Briarwoods?” Cassandra asks, choosing to focus on concrete things for the moment.

“Oh, almost certainly,” Ripley says. “He’s their favorite.”

Cassandra takes a deep breath. “Well, that’s troubling, but what makes you so sure that he can’t be swayed back to our side? I am his sister, after all.”

Ripley chuckles. “I really don’t think that will help here. There is a darkness in Percy separate from the darkness that pervades this land.”

“A darkness? What does that even mean?” Cassandra asks.

“I don’t know what it is, and honestly, I’m not that interested, but there is some dark spirit propelling Percy,” Ripley says. “When we first made our gun, it seemed that the design had come to him overnight. I’d say it was a flash of divine inspiration, but nothing divine could have created it.”

“And why is that?”

Ripley smiles again. “Because it is the weapon that will kill the gods.”

“That’s very poetic, but again, what does it actually mean?” Casandra asks.

“The actual mechanisms are rather complex, and I imagine you would neither understand nor be interested in them,” Ripley says. “Suffice it to say that it is a weapon far more powerful than your swords and arrows, and I truly believe it will render them obsolete and usher in a modern age.”

“And how do you know that Percy didn’t come up with it on his own? He’s very smart,” Cassandra says.

“Oh, I know. He’s a genius,” Ripley says, grinning a little wider. “I am a very smart woman, and he is smarter than me, but still, I don’t think that even he could have come up with the full design on his own.”

“And you’re sure about this?” Cassandra asks.

“Well, it didn’t help that there were other signs he served some greater master,” Ripley says.

“Signs?”

“Occasional moments when he seemed to be talking to a voice no one else could hear. Black smoke appearing out of nowhere,” Ripley says. “I am a woman who focuses purely on material things, but even I can tell when there is a higher power at play.”

“Well, then, can you take us to him?” Cassandra says. “It seems we’re overdue for a reunion.”

“I quite suspect he’s with the Briarwoods setting up whatever it is they’ve been setting up,” Ripley says. “I can take you as far as the tunnels, but they never allowed me beyond that.”

“And you don’t want to get back at the person who ousted you?” Cassandra says.

“I’m afraid not,” Ripley says. “I don’t like conflict. I prefer to play my part in things and then leave while I can still be sure I’ll make it out alive.”

“You’re a terrible person. You know that, right?” Cassandra says.

“I’m also your best bet if you want to find your brother,” Ripley says.

Cassandra sighs. “Vax, open the cell.”

“Are we sure about this?” Keyleth asks. “I don’t like her.”

“Neither do I, but she’s the best lead we have,” Cassandra says. “If she puts a toe out of line, we fight back, but as things stand, we have a deal.”

Vax steps forward and picks the lock on Ripley’s cell. As soon as the lock snaps open, Ripley eagerly rushes out of her cell. Vax cuts her off, raising a dagger to her throat.

“Hey, you’re on thin ice here,” Vax says. He points to Vex. “She is a great shot.” He turns to Grog. “I have seen him turn men into jelly.” Finally, he turns back to Cassandra. “And she is one of the most determined and resourceful people I have ever met.”

\---

True to her word, Ripley bolts the minute they reach the tunnels under the palace. Cassandra isn’t exactly happy about it, but she has bigger things to worry about, and chasing after Ripley doesn’t seem worth it. At first, it seems okay. Cassandra didn’t exactly spend a lot of time in her family’s crypt (and when she did, her ancestors definitely didn’t come back to life and start attacking her), but she was pretty good at navigating the various secret passageways. Then, they get to the Briarwoods’ traps, and Cassandra can only do so much. They wind up trapped in some cage, and Vax somehow makes it worse by making it spew acid on them, and Cassandra’s pretty sure she’s going to die.

Sylas pats Vax on the shoulder. “It doesn’t hurt to have friends,” he says, and Cassandra knows he’s charmed Vax. She’s furious and wants to scream something, but before she can react, her focus is drawn to a familiar figure who has just stepped forward.

Percy looks prematurely aged. His hair has turned completely white, and Cassandra finds herself subconsciously touching one of the white streaks in her own hair. She presses herself up against the glass, getting as close to Percy as she can.

“Percy,” she says.

“Cassandra,” Percy says, his mouth curling into a twisted smile. “I heard you were here. I’ve been waiting for our reunion a long time.”

Cassandra looks down at Percy’s hand where he’s holding a metal contraption that she imagines is the gun Ripley mentioned. She sees black smoke curling around the gun and continuing up Percy’s arm, and she knows Ripley was right. There is definitely some dark force at work here.

“Percy, you don’t have to do this,” Cassandra says. “I don’t know what the Briarwoods did to you, but you can help us. You’re still my brother. You’re still a de Rolo.”

Percy takes a step forward and looks Cassandra straight in the eyes. “Percival de Rolo died the day those arrows found my chest. The wounds didn’t kill me, but watching you leave me gave me a new purpose. I have a new family. I am a Briarwood. And all I want is revenge on the so-called sister who left me to die.”

Cassandra looks at Percy’s face, trying to see any sign of mercy, any sign of the brother she once had. She wants to tell him that she has a new family too, that he can be a part of it if he wants, but his expression is cold and hard, and she knows that her pleas would fall on deaf ears.

She looks down at the gun again, trying to comprehend what it is, and something catches her eye. There is a name written on one of the barrels, her own name. In that moment, she realizes that, despite everything Vax has said, this is her fault. The gun was made specifically to kill her.

Lady Briarwood pats Percy on the shoulder and says, “Don’t worry, dear. It will all be over soon.”

They make motions to leave. Vax goes with them, and Cassandra looks to him and then to the Briarwoods.

“Sylas! Delilah!” she screams. “You killed three of my brothers and corrupted a fourth. You don’t get this one. You don’t get Vax.”

\---

It doesn’t take long before Cassandra learns exactly what the gun does, as Percy pulls a trigger and small metal pellets pierce Cassandra’s skin. She manages to dodge well enough that she doesn’t get hit anywhere too vital, but it’s a rough fight, and even after they manage to finish off both Briarwoods and get out of the anti-magic zone, Percy is still going strong.

Percy shoots again, just barely missing Vex, who is still weak after just barely being brought back from her state of unconsciousness. Cassandra looks at her party and sees how badly wounded they all are, and she knows that they can’t stop Percy without at least a few of them dying.

And then she remembers the name on the gun, and she remembers that Percy’s part in this is about her. If all he wants is revenge on her, there is a way to stop anyone else in Vox Machina from getting hurt.

Cassandra swerves past her party members, moving directly in front of Percy. She sheathes her shortsword and looks directly at him.

“The Cassandra I knew didn’t like to come out of hiding,” Percy says.

“I’m ending this now,” Cassandra says.

“And what makes you think you can do that?” Percy asks.

“Because I’m the one you want here, right?” Cassandra says. “Percy, I’m sorry I left you behind. I don’t think you know how terribly sorry I am. I think about that night constantly, and I know that a good part of it is my fault. And if the only way to make things right is to let you kill me, go ahead. Just leave my friends out of it. They were never part of this.”

“Cassie, don’t do this” Vax says, somewhere behind her.

“I have to,” she says, not turning to look at him, because she knows that if she does, her resolve will break.

Percy gives her a long steely look and raises his gun. Cassandra takes a moment to come to terms with the fact that this is how she’s going to die, that she’s going to be killed by her own brother.

And then instead of shooting, Percy lowers the gun and looks up and says, “No.” Dark smoke curls up from his arm, beginning to encompass the rest of his body, and it seems like he’s not talking to anyone in the room. There’s a pause, and then he speaks again. “Killing her will solve nothing.” Another pause. “Why do you want this? What do you think this will accomplish?”

“Percy, who are you talking to?” Cassandra asks, her voice softer.

As if in response, a dark figure made of smoke and shadows springs out of Percy’s body. Cassandra watches the dark smoke dissipate from Percy himself as the figure grows into a distinct demonic form.

“Do it,” the figure says.

“Nothing will be solved by her death. Nothing will be made better,” Percy says.

“You know that’s not true,” the figure says. “Isn’t this your greater purpose? Why are you still alive if not to show her what it is like to be betrayed by someone you thought was your family?”

Percy raises the gun again, training it on Cassandra. He looks for a moment as if he’s about to shoot, but then his resolve falters, and he turns the gun on the figure.

“Don’t squander this opportunity, not when you’ve worked on this so long,” the figure coaxes, and Percy moves the gun back to Cassandra, but he looks less certain this time.

Cassandra wants to spring forward and stab the figure, but she knows all that would do is give Percy a solid reason to kill her, just like the figure wants. She cannot save Percy. She can only try to help him save himself.

Cassandra takes a deep breath and tries to pretend that she’s not terrified. “Percival Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowki de Rolo III,” she cries out, “you will fight this darkness within you.”

Percy stands still for a moment, and Cassandra can tell he’s mentally calculating something. Then, slowly and methodically, he turns the gun on the shadowy figure and fires three shots.

Then, and only then, does Cassandra attack the figure, with the rest of Vox Machina backing her up.

\---

The next few weeks are filled with logistical concerns and planning for the future and way too many retellings of the story of how Scanlan burned down a house. (Cassandra’s still pretty sure he’s making up at least half of it.) Percy keeps to himself mostly, cloistering himself in his lab for days at a time. Cassandra can’t help but be worried for him, and she asks Keeper Yennen to keep an eye on him, but when Keeper Yennen says he doesn’t seem to be a threat to himself or to anyone else, Cassandra tries to focus on other things. She can’t exactly blame Percy for not wanting to talk to her.

He finds her finally at the Winter’s Crest festival.

“Can we talk?” Percy asks.

“I rather think we should,” Cassandra says, walking away from the crowds and letting Percy follow her.

“I got you a present, seeing as it is Winter’s Crest,” Percy says.

“Well, now I just feel bad that I didn’t get you anything.”

“In a matter of speaking, you got me Whitestone, so we can call it even,” Percy says.

He drops a necklace into her hands. It’s a small metal placard dangling from a leather cord, and on the placard, carefully and beautifully etched, is the de Rolo crest.

“Is this what you’ve been working on in your lab?” Cassandra asks.

“More or less. I saw that you were using the crest as a symbol of your rebellion,” Percy says. “I made one for myself as well. I know I said some terrible things before, but I want you to know that I wasn’t myself at the time. I am now and forever a de Rolo.”

“Thank you,” Cassandra says. “And don’t feel too terrible about the things you said. There was some truth to them.”

“I’m honestly not sure there was,” Percy says.

“Percy, leaving you there in the snow is one of the biggest regrets of my life. I meant it when I said that I know I’m partly to blame for what happened to you,” Cassandra says.

“Maybe. Maybe not,” Percy says. “I blamed you because the Briarwoods manipulated me into thinking that the blame should lie on anyone but them. In truth, I think you did what anyone would have done in your situation.”

“No, I didn’t,” Cassandra says, her voice firm.

“How are you so sure?” Percy says.

“You know the twins I travel with? The half-elves?”

“Sure, vaguely.”

“I asked Vax once what he would do if his sister were on the verge of death and he had the chance to maybe get her to safety at the risk of his own life, and he didn’t even hesitate before saying he’d save her,” Cassandra says. “He couldn’t live without her.”

“That’s all well and good, but in my experience, what people say they’ll do in those sorts of scenarios and what they actually do rarely line up,” Percy says.

“I believe him,” Cassandra says. “When we were fighting at the ziggurat, Vex went unconscious and very nearly died, and Vax basically flung himself off the structure just to save her.”

“That seems rather careless,” Percy says.

“He’s not the most careful guy,” Cassandra says. “When the Briarwoods were in Emon, Vax did something stupid and almost got himself killed, and Vex rushed into save him. The two of them care for each other so much that they would do anything to save each other. Maybe if we were more like them, I could have saved us both.”

“Maybe, but we were nothing like that,” Percy says. “If I recall correctly, you annoyed me most of the time.”

“Yes, and I didn’t even like you half the time,” Cassandra says. “Maybe that’s why I left you. Maybe I really am to blame for not liking you enough.”

“I don’t think this is about blame,” Percy says. “It would be nice if we could have a happy ‘love conquers all’ story, but that’s not the world we live in.”

Cassandra smiles. “I guess we’ll have to make do with this one.”

“So what happens now?” Percy asks.

“We’re leaving for Emon in a few days,” Cassandra says. “I know that there’s still a lot to be done here, but I’ve left Whitestone in pretty good hands, and Emon sort of is my home now. We have a keep and everything.”

“That sounds nice,” Percy says.

“It is,” Cassandra says. “What about you? What’s next for you?”

“I guess I’m staying here. There should be a de Rolo in Whitestone and all that,” Percy says, sounding disappointedly resigned.

Cassandra looks at his face for a moment and then says, “You know I was born in Wildmount, right?”

“Yes, what about it?” Percy asks.

“When we were kids, our family would spend months at a time there,” Cassandra says. “For all we talk about how there must always be a de Rolo in Whitestone, there were plenty of times when we were all out of town.”

“So what are you saying?”

“I’m not sure the whole de Rolo in Whitestone thing has to be literal,” Cassandra says. “I think it’s more that there must always be a de Rolo in charge of Whitestone. If Mom and Dad could leave the day-to-day business in the hands of other people, good people who are loyal to our family, I think we can too.”

“So is that what you want? To just leave Whitestone in the hands of other people?” Percy asks.

Cassandra rolls her eyes. “Were you always this judgmental?”

“Obviously,” Percy says. “But in all seriousness, given the past few years, do you want to leave Whitestone to other people?”

“Whitestone is ours, Percy. I certainly don’t plan on leaving here for good, and I don’t think you should either,” Cassandra says. “But the truth is that the past two weeks worth of meetings have reminded me that I was thirteen when the Briarwoods attacked, and I don’t actually know much about how to run a city. I certainly know less than all the community leaders who have been trying to retake Whitestone for years now. And given that you’ve spent the past two weeks hiding in your lab, I’m guessing you’re in the same position and also that Whitestone might not be the best place for you to be right now.”

“Then, where would I go?” Percy asks. “Whitestone’s the only home I’ve ever had.”

Cassandra looks at him for a moment, thinking. “Do you have another gun?” she asks.

“What?”

“I know Scanlan dropped the gun you were using into the acid, but did you have another one?”

“I have two others,” Percy says. “One was mine, the other I took from an associate, shall we say.”

“Ripley?”

“I take it you had a run in with her.”

“Yeah, we sort of had to let her out so we could find you, actually,” Cassandra says. “She’s one of the loose ends of this whole thing.”

“Yes, I imagine we haven’t seen the last of her,” Percy says. “So you were asking about the guns?”

“Yes, I just wanted to ask. Do you think they can be used for good?”

Percy shakes his head. “I don’t think there’s anything good in them. They are the weapons that will herald the end of the world.”

“Yes, and Ripley said they would kill the gods,” Cassandra says, frustrated. “It’s all very dramatic, but what do you actually mean?”

“I made my gun purely to be an efficient killing machine. I made it for the sole purpose of killing…”

“Of killing me. Yes, I know,” Cassandra says.

“There’s nothing good in that,” Percy says.

“My friends and I spend a lot of our time killing things,” Cassandra says. “Not people, obviously, at least not most of the time. But we kill dragons and mind flayers and beholders, and it helps a lot of people. I think your guns would help a lot with that.”

“Are you asking me to join you?” Percy asks.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because you need family,” Cassandra says. “As horrifying as it was to me, I understand why you decided to work with the Briarwoods. After they came to Whitestone, neither of us had any family left, so we had to find new ones. Vox Machina found me, and the Briarwoods found you. If I had been in your place, I’m sure I would have fallen for them too.”

“I have family now. I have you,” Percy says.

“Yeah, but we just established we don’t like each other very much,” Cassandra says. “You need someone else.”

“And you really think they’ll like me after I tried to kill them?” Percy asks.

“They gave me a chance when I was a lost cause living on my own,” Cassandra says. “I think I can convince them to do the same for you.”

“Are you sure? I’m sure they’re all lovely people, but your goliath friend clearly enjoyed trying to hack me into tiny pieces,” Percy says.

“Yeah, he’s just sort of like that,” Cassandra says. “It’s okay. He usually doesn’t attack anyone unless we say it’s okay.”

“How reassuring,” Percy says, clearly sarcastic.

“And he loves a good prank,” Cassandra says. “Seriously, I bet you could come up with a very clever way to shave his beard.”

“Shave his beard?”

“It was a whole thing with Vax,” Cassandra says. “Actually on second thought, maybe don’t try shaving his beard. If you succeed, he might actually kill you.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Percy says.

“So are you in?” Cassandra asks.

“Can I have some time to think about it?” Percy asks.

“Of course,” Cassandra says. “We leave in three days.”

\---

“Scanlan, I know you want to move on from this, but I think we haven’t properly appreciated it yet,” Vax says. “You very nearly slept with your own daughter.”

“I mean, I feel like I wouldn’t have let it get that far,” Scanlan says. “I simply felt a connection with her for perfectly explainable reasons.”

“Yeah, I’m sure that’s exactly what happened,” Cassandra says. “But it’s okay, Scanlan. I don’t blame you. She was really cute.”

On either side of her, Cassandra hears both Scanlan and Percy choking.

“No, no, you did not just say that,” Percy says.

“You’re the one who has a problem here?” Scanlan says, pretending to be more outraged than he actually is. “This is my daughter and someone who’s basically my little sister we’re talking about here.”

“You know, I think the fact that Cassandra is apparently basically the little sister of everyone here has made you all forget that she’s actually my sister,” Percy says.

“Well, she is basically our little sister. What of it?” Vax says with the same protective glare he’s been giving Percy ever since they left Whitestone. She figures she should probably tell him to knock it off, but it’s both funny and flattering enough that she kind of doesn’t want to.

“You do kind of lose points for building a new type of weapon specifically to kill me,” Cassandra says.

Percy opens his mouth as if to protest, but then he thinks better of it and says, “I deserve that.”

“You know, Cassandra, you never thanked me for being the one to destroy the gun that was meant to kill you,” Scanlan says. “I am once again the savior of Vox Machina.”

“Well, you know, I could repay you by showing your daughter a good time,” Cassandra says with a wink.

“Vex, did you teach her how to wink?” Scanlan asks.

“Yes, because she needed to be taught how to wink. It’s not something she could figure out on her own,” Vax says.

“I’ll have you know that winking is a very complex skill requiring years of refinement,” Vex says. She turns to Cassandra. “I’ll work on it with you, darling.”

“I’m just appalled that my sister would be attracted to anyone related to Scanlan,” Percy says. “If it turns out that your taste in women is that terrible, I might have to start pretending you’re not my sister again.”

Cassandra laughs, but everyone else is silent as four different members of Vox Machina stop eating and glare at Percy.

“How can you say that to her?” Vax says. “Not after what you did to her, not after…”

“Vax, it’s fine,” Cassandra says. “What Percy said was pretty funny, actually.”

“Really?” Vax asks.

“The de Rolos have a strange sense of humor,” Cassandra says. “We don’t exactly like to talk about things, so our main form of communication is jokes about our own painful experiences.”

“You know, Cassie, your family is very strange,” Vax says.

“Yes,” Cassandra says, looking straight at Vax and smiling. “You are.”


End file.
